It’s been a week into my new life. I feel as though it’s been heart-wrenching to say the least. There have been so many ups and downs. I don’t even know where to start. The negative and end on a positive note, or start with the positive and gloss over the negative. In the end it doesn’t really matter. It’s all the same in the end.
How about I just start at the beginning. Gi joe went to annual training and he made time for me, even just checking in every day/every other day. During this time, spurred on by my best friend, I applied for jobs. I got an interview, was hired. His first day back to civilian life was my first day on the job.
Since then, we (or should I say he) was distant and cold. It’s not getting better. As the saying goes, sex can’t fix everything. In reality, I don’t know if I want it to. That is the part that confuses me the most. The other thing that I can’t help but think is that I have now told my family about him. So of course it isn’t going to work. Or at least that is how the past has gone.
We need to talk. But in all reality, all I can help but think, was he happy because he had the better job, made more money and I was miserable. Did he like me because I was miserable? Is it now that I am happy and make more money than he does; he’s no longer the alpha male of the work world? I’m not even sure if he even likes me any more. I think that the worst part is, I’m not sure I’ve even liked him. But for us to talk, it has to be a two sided conversation. There hasn’t been that for a while.
I almost want to tough it out for the next 2 weeks just to see what he does for my birthday. I doubt he’d remember, get me anything or even celebrate. Yesterday, he sent his roommate to get dinner, he didn’t even ask me if I wanted anything. He even told he forgot about me. Was he really surprised that I suddenly left for my own couch in my own place to watch tv, verses his tv with him at his place.
For all intensive reasons, I would say that it is over between us. Its just the final goodbye that needs to be communicated. I go back to my birthday wanting to stay just so his neighbors can ask me what he got me – and I can go “nothing, he forgot.” One of his friends asked how it was going. I couldn’t answer because that would mean that I would have to acknowledge that it’s going badly. As I was at the party, all I could think about it wasn’t going to last the month.
On the flip side. I think that this partly (wishful thinking?) because my new job and how I am actually happy. My situation has changed for the better. And I am happy. For the first week, I was truly happy until this past weekend. Now I am playing the waiting game, effectively communication chicken. I’m tired of the one for the past week and half communicating to get 1-2 word answers.
My job is great. I think that I am going to love it. A lot of the things that I have done I did at my previous job. There are only minor tweaks in how things operate or data entered. I feel respected for the first time in a long time. I don’t get asked “what do you want?” when I am listening to my boss talk to another.
So the fun part – money. I get paid 53K a year. I’m eligible for overtime as well, but with my position, don’t know if I will actually be able to take it. We get paid every 2 weeks. I looked at a tax calculator to find what my estimated pay would be – 40,380 after taxes divide that in to 26 (pay periods) – insurance and investments, currently my paycheck would be (drum roll please) 1443. Granted, that will go down. I need to invest more into my 401K. But I was going to get my first paycheck and then set it up with HR. I can change it at anytime. I just don’t remember how. With this week being a short week because of the holiday and everyone finishing up onboarding and payroll duties. I was going to be polite and wait.
My final paycheck from my old job was 100 short of my normal paycheck. This was because of vacation that was required to be paid out. (I got 40 pre-loaded for my new job – it’s worth about a grand). I will get paid every two weeks which will be different for me. All my bills for July have been deducted. So my plan is to take a percentage of the paychecks for spending, and put the rest into a savings account, wait till the end of the month, and pay my bills. Like I have been doing.
The positive to this is that I will be getting 2 full paychecks throughout the year to put towards debt and savings. I’m not sure how I am going work on this. But it will be a work in process. All I know is that I don’t have to have a side job to enjoy life. I get my nights and weekends for myself. (I would say with GI Joe, but realistically?…)
With gas prices the way that they are, I use about 2 gallons of gas per day. So 4-4.10 on gas per day. 20 per week. Not bad considering. At some point, I plan on moving to that area. I just don’t know when, plus I need/want to save for deposit/rent, etc. The work also has a cafeteria on sight. It is subsidized by the company. Though, I’m not sure how effectively, the prices seem all over the board. A pint of soup is just over 2, while a large fry is just under. So the soup (and salad for that part) are a great deal (it’s delish) while the fries stink. Even the egg rolls are only 50 cents a piece.
I’m debating on how to do lunches. Especially since I am trying to cut weight. I can have a soup and salad for under 5.50. So I will most likely do a combination of taking my lunch eating their food. They also provide free fruit water (yummy) and coffee (not so hot – in flavor of taste) so I bought k-cups for the machine that they provide. I figure it is an investment. Truly it is. Since starting, I have purchased coffee twice. I was back to buying Starbucks everyday/every other day. Now it is back to being a treat, something to enjoy; not something to keep me busy and distract me.
The other cool part is that they will pay for health related activities every year up to 150 – including races and gym memberships. (The tuition reimbursement program isn’t as great and requires a year of working there.) But I can sign up for a bunch of different classes and get repaid for it. So much for my martial arts (I don’t pay for that either.) Here I come groupon.
The insurance is all right, nothing to write home about. Sadly, I think that I am going to get a bill from the FSA company at my last job, as I overspent it by 200 accidentally. It would have been fine, had I kept working at that job.
But I would rather write and finish on a positive note. How I get to enjoy life. How I’m not dreading waking up in the morning. How great small (big) changes can be. I realized that I used to shop out of not only boredom, but depression. Now I don’t feel the need nor want to buy random items. How it doesn’t make me happy.